[NU Sports] FW: football humor last nt, from Letterman & NU alum Colbert

[Weinbaum, Willie]

Last night's Top Ten list was "Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too Much Football" ("Late Show," CBS, 1/5).

10) "Only fresh air you've had this month is opening door for pizza guy."
9) "You refer to orange juice as FedEx orange juice."
8) "When wife finishes making dinner, you dump jug of Gatorade on her."
7) "You schedule an appointment to talk to your doctor about Andy Reid's cholesterol."
6) "You got a telestrator in the bedroom."
5) "Three words: Norv Turner tattoo."
4) "Fantasize about Gisele Bundchen falling in love with you and introducing you to Tom Brady."
3) "When you go to McDonald's you insist on ordering the McNabb."
2) "Laura has to keep reminding you you're still president for two more weeks."
1) "To be more like your favorite New York Giant, you shoot yourself in the leg."


Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert was joined on "The Colbert Report" last night by political commentator Alan Colmes. Colbert: "Well, nation, Colbert and Colmes begins its team coverage with tonight's big story. Illinois Governor and cranial muskrat smuggler Rod Blagojevich has made a pick to fill Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. He has chosen Plaxico Burress. A great decision.Burress runs a tight 40 and he has a strong stance on gun rights: A stance on one leg, he shot himself in the other." Colmes: "Stephen, it's not Plaxico Burress, it's former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris" ("The Colbert Report," Comedy Central, 1/5).