[NU Sports] GMU

[Jonathan Michael Hawkins]

Stephen--

> Which is why it was so unfortunate to have TJ go pro and Thompson suffer 
> injury this year.

Both TJ's decision to go pro and David Thompson having an undetected 
congential heart defect are simply the latest in a long line of examples 
of poor coaching.

A *real* coach would've focused his mind-control beams on TJ and changed 
his mind for him, would've time-travelled into the future to get genetic 
therapy equipment, then back into the past to cure Thompson's heart 
defect, then subsequently used his mind-control beams to ensure that 
Thompson transferred from Duke to NU.

Why noted Bavarian Illuminati member Henry Bienen can't find one of those 
coaches is beyond me.  That hack spends way too much time worrying about 
the academic mission of the school and not nearly enough worrying about 
its athletic programs, if you ask me.  In any case, there's plenty of 
coaches like I described in armchairs right here on the East Coast.  Why, 
my friend Walter from down the street would do it in a heartbeat, if only 
Mrs. Mitty would let him.

;-)

<donning flamesuit>,

Jonathan