[NU Sports] Coaches, Fire Them'all

[Chris Patterson]

Hi Everybody,
    I wrote this email in the week after the PSU game (remember some on this
list were calling for Walker's resignation -- their annual "how-to-solve"
everything).  I have updated this email  (in Blue) after the Purdue game.
I"m not a writer by trade (Tech grad) so I better inform you this email is
meant to be somewhat satirical.
 
    This email is to honor all those select fans that are quick to deliver
the pink slip to their team's coaches.
 
    In any case, let's get on with it and fire some coaches!!
 
    So, by the end of  the first half of the NU-PSU game, the Penn State
nation was more than ready for JoePa to retire! He was 2-6 in the Big Ten
last year and crashing in his first Big 10 game of 2005. Was PSU as bad as
they looked on TV in the first half? Retire JoePa; retire.
 
   That game flip-flopped quickly. NU still hasn't yet learned to put it
away; it's coaching. It's time for Walker to take a hike.
 
    Given the flop in the PSU - NU game, I was surprised no one made any
comments about the Tennessee - LSU game which was remarkable similar to the
PSU-NU game. It was the game UT won in OT a week ago Monday night in Baton
Rouge. Didn't anybody watch it? ...Generally Tennessee football is fairly
boring, so I understand.
 
    In that Monday night game, Tennessee visited Death Valley and their play
was moribund in the first half. Bad? Yes and I've been watching the Vols
(Fulmer) for 10 years now. It was typical Fulmer ball on a bad day. Poor
passing, terrible ownership of the ball (turnovers served up like a buffet).
Needless to say, there were no sleepy heads Tuesday in Knoxville (because
everybody went to bed at the half) and most dreaming that Fulmer would be
retiring in the morning.
 
    But, during the second half, LSU delivered the sugarplums and instead,
on Tuesday, it was Louisiana talk radio getting calls regarding their
coaching staff and the needed hiring/firing changes. We've heard that talk
before (in different accents, of course), "Not putting the game out of
reach... poor coaching, etc, etc".  So, we've fired four coaches now. 
 
    Speaking of flip-flops, ASU was slaughtering the LSU Tigers (first half)
in their prior game, but allowed the Tigers to make the final kill. How did
a powerhouse team like ASU allow that? Obviously poor coaching is not a
regional problem, is it? Five coaches fired now.
 
    But let's just stick to the Big Ten since that is what we really care
about. 
 
    Michigan blows it against Notre Dame. "Too-Conservative" Carr (his
heyday is over); besides Carr makes Fulmer look like Spurrier. And a
Michigan loss to Minnesota!? First time in 20+ years and in the Big House?
Where is Michigan's spread offense? Is Michigan even ranked any more?
 
    Can Michigan State ever beat Michigan (ever?) And this coach even admits
how terrible his coaches are. It's a no brainer here.
 
    Mason is over-rated. He has always had an easy non-conference schedule.
His Big Ten record in 2004 was  3-5!  I've always wondered how he has
managed to stay on so long. Fire him; it's time for a January bowl game! ...
Looks like Mason just won the biggest game of his coaching career. ... even
so I look for Minnesota to fade as usual down the stretch, but because of
Gopher's easy non-C schedule they'll get to play again in December.
 
    Tiller. -- I've always liked what Tiller has done with his talent. But
when was the last time he won the Big Ten? And being in the middle of the
pack isn't good enough any more. It's January or bust! Anybody know of a
nice place in Wyoming? And now Purdue has dropped from being ranked 11th to
losing 4 straight. It's ranch time and I'm not talking salad.
 
    Alveraz - Another coach who I think has done a lot with the talent he
has. Too bad he is retiring.  Oops. I didn't do my historical homework. Any
coach who only has a 50% win percentage against Northwestern should be
retired. What a legacy.
 
    Iowa, Ferentz -- h'mm a preseason favorite for the Big Ten and they've
already lost 2, including against their in-state rival. I think Ferentz
should be on the hot seat. Good-bye unless he smells the Roses.
 
    OSU - Didn't S.T. allude to OSU's loss being due to poor coaching.  Poor
coaching again in the Big Ten.  And OSU's Big Ten record last year was 4-4.
I'm sorry Tressel, but that type of record is like Illinois going 0-11 or
1-10?
   
    Indiana and Illinois -- they are now like the old NU (dead end coaching
careers - four years and out). When was the last time either team had a
winning record in the Big Ten?  I mean, "when was the last time they had a
winning record?", period. No improvement here.
 
    And if you look at at the big picture, since the Big Ten in the last few
years has been unable to consistently beat the non-conference foes... the
conference bosses should be encouraging a change-over of all the Big Ten
coaches. For heaven's sake, we need a national champ out of the Big Ten....
and in something other than lacrosse.  :)
 
    So my hat's off to all those pink slip slinging fans; it's time we get
rid of all 11 Big Ten coaches (unless Ferentz wins the Big Ten)! And in two
years each team will win the conference! (Did I say I have a tech degree?:) 
 
    Or isn't the real point that we are tired of all this imperfection in
college football!  ... Here's a parting idea; maybe college games should all
be played on Sunday? Games played on Sunday always seems to have fewer
errors.  Just a thought. :)
 
 
    Go CATS!  
Chris Patterson
Knoxville, TN
Season ticket holder (Northwestern that is)
NU, Tech '81
UT, Master's, '93
 
PS. The Wildcats are still better entertainment than the Tennessee
Volunteers!