[Husker] Another Suspension

[Paul Dalen]

Big XII Commissioner Dan Beebe announced today that Eric Crouch, former
Nebraska QB and Heisman Trophy winner had been suspended from football for a
vicious attack on a defenseless Iowa defensive back Mikkel Brown during the
Nebraska-Iowa game in Iowa City September 4, 1999.  Beebe stated that "even
though Crouch has been out of college football for a decade we are
determined to root all unecessarily violent hits from the game.  In this
instance, Crouch hit, and proceeded to stomp on, the defensive back, who
clearly was unable to defend himself from such a vicious and premeditated
touchdown run."  Beebe stated that the egregious nature of the touchdown,
which put Nebraska ahead of the Hawkeyes 42-0.

Beebe stated that because Crouch is no longer actually playing football, he
will be suspended for one week from his job selling ridiculously overpriced
playground equipment to rich people with spoiled kids.

On Fri, Oct 29, 2010 at 5:51 PM, Dick Karre <dkarre at comcast.net> wrote:

> [Satire Alert]
>
> Big XII Commissioner Dan Beebe announced today that Nebraska quarterback
> Turner Gill has been suspended for one game. The suspension results from a
> play in Nebraska's 1982 game against Missouri in which Gill "deliberately"
> hit defensive end Randy Jostes in the forearm with his face. "Mr. Gill
> committed a flagrant act of targeting an opponent's forearm with his face in
> violation of NCAA Football Rules," Beebe said in a news release. "This
> dangerous hit is one that we in the football community are trying to remove
> from the game." No penalty was called on the play. Beebe continued, "We are
> aware that this infraction occurred twenty-eight years ago, but there is no
> statute of limitations in these cases."
>
> Beebe noted that Gill, who is now the head coach at Kansas, no longer plays
> football, but that he would be suspended from coaching the Jayhawks' game at
> Iowa State adding, "It's not like they'll miss him anyway. Besides, it's
> Kansas and Iowa State. Texas isn't involved in the game, so who cares?"
>
> Asked how Big XII officials uncovered Gill's violation, Beebe stated that
> conference officials have been scrutinizing film of all Nebraska games to
> ensure that all violations are dealt with before the Cornhuskers leave the
> conference. "There's some guy named Novak that we're looking at real close,
> but the films from that era aren't very good. We'll see." Beebe refused to
> state whether the conference is similarly reviewing Colorado games.
> "Colorado," he said as he exited the room. "Right. Colorado." Loud laughter
> could be heard from the hallway before an aide closed the door.
>
>
>
> --
> Dick Karre
> dkarre at comcast.net
>
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