[Husker] Another Suspension

[Dick Karre]

[Satire Alert]

Big XII Commissioner Dan Beebe announced today that Nebraska quarterback 
Turner Gill has been suspended for one game. The suspension results from 
a play in Nebraska's 1982 game against Missouri in which Gill 
"deliberately" hit defensive end Randy Jostes in the forearm with his 
face. "Mr. Gill committed a flagrant act of targeting an opponent's 
forearm with his face in violation of NCAA Football Rules," Beebe said 
in a news release. "This dangerous hit is one that we in the football 
community are trying to remove from the game." No penalty was called on 
the play. Beebe continued, "We are aware that this infraction occurred 
twenty-eight years ago, but there is no statute of limitations in these 
cases."

Beebe noted that Gill, who is now the head coach at Kansas, no longer 
plays football, but that he would be suspended from coaching the 
Jayhawks' game at Iowa State adding, "It's not like they'll miss him 
anyway. Besides, it's Kansas and Iowa State. Texas isn't involved in the 
game, so who cares?"

Asked how Big XII officials uncovered Gill's violation, Beebe stated 
that conference officials have been scrutinizing film of all Nebraska 
games to ensure that all violations are dealt with before the 
Cornhuskers leave the conference. "There's some guy named Novak that 
we're looking at real close, but the films from that era aren't very 
good. We'll see." Beebe refused to state whether the conference is 
similarly reviewing Colorado games. "Colorado," he said as he exited the 
room. "Right. Colorado." Loud laughter could be heard from the hallway 
before an aide closed the door.



-- 
Dick Karre
dkarre at comcast.net