[Husker] How Tough Is Bo Pellini?

[Dan Draney]

 When Pelini takes a swim, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Pelinied.
 
 Bo Pelini doesn't read offenses. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
 
 Pelini makes Chuck Liddell sit down to pee.
 
 Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Bo
Pelini.
 
 Bo Pelini once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a
sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
 
 Bo Pelini could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his headset and
four different ways with his play chart.
 
 Bo Pelini sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark
but because the dark is afraid of Bo Pelini.
 
 Bo Pelini doesn't fart, he detonates.
 
 Superman wears Bo Pelini pajamas to bed.
 
 Bo Pelini didn't hang the moon. He stared down an asteroid and it stopped
in it's tracks.
 
 Bo Pelini's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one
fools Bo Pelini.
 
 Bo Pelini was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced
by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in
12 minutes and 37 seconds.
 
 Bo Pelini doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow.
 
 Bo Pelini used to beat the sh*t out of his shadow because it was following
him to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
 
 They say that Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Bo Pelini laughs at
Superman for having a weakness.
 
 Bo Pelini's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Bo Pelini will
not take sh*t from anyone.
 
 Bo Pelini once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent
drowned.
 
 Bo Pelini can build a snowman out of rain.
 
 Bo Pelini's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick
ass."